Ready to return

We're just about ready to return to Japan. W's study is almost over and I've been kicking my heels for far too long. Only one more job application to complete and then we're all done for the year on that score too.
I feel totally ambivalent about returning. I don't really miss Japan at all, although it is nice to speak Japanese a lot more than I am now. It will be nice to have our own apartment, but, of course, the thousands of rules and regulations relating to renting a place in Japan, along with the huge cost, mean that this six week stay in our flat in Oxford feels more like home than the Kobe apartment ever did and I've been there almost eight years now! That's the problem: Japan is as friendly as anywhere, but it never feels like home, even after 20 years of living there. It is a country designed from the ground up for work; not for living and not for lifestyle. There is only one lifestyle in Japan and that's work. Your friends are related to work, and you talk about work. There's work stress even when you're out in the town at weekends -- you can see it in people's faces. It's very sad and it is a clear measure of how much we should seriously consider not being there for much longer. It is not a healthy atmosphere at all.
But it's also easy. We'll be there until at least April, and maybe for a year more. We'll see. But, although I've said it time and time again, we have to set a deadline to leave. Even the Rikkyo offer seems silly now that I've been in Europe for a while. The job itself would present more opportunities than in Kobe, but why would I move for less money, and even have to pay my own, very considerable, moving expenses to get there? Because it's Japan, and in Japan work and the company takes precedence over everything so we pay the company to allow us to work there.

Tags: Japan;/Work